Monday, August 28, 2006
yesterday forget to blog. again so happy! you woke me up with your sms. i thought you just wake up nia and i gotta wait. end up you 5 minutes jiu reach le! whahaha! so sweet! once open my eye see you. hehehe. but you didnt stay long. just about two hours only. we spent an hour doing those stuff while another hour you just lie on my bed and let me hug and di siao you. i guess its because i tell you you gave me weird feeling bah arbo you would have left earlier. still, im glad that you stayed on. you know i write the three words on you de nor. end up still want me say it. boo woo hoo! then you laughed at me >.<~ but nvm la. i still enjoyed myself. hehehe. muackies you deep deep!!
| a simple me. 12:59 PM
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Saturday, August 26, 2006
laogong, i very happy wor! this week went by i didnt cry a single time. still rmbr the last time you come find me on sunday. was so happy! then this week got pm you a few times in msn. each time you also got reply me de. hehehe. hao kai xin wor! must be laughing at me if you see this right? im so easily contented. good good good. you must keep up with this hor. dun show me attitude or ignore me. you said de ((:
but im a bit sad sad lei. cos you going to indonesia on 7-9 october.. i rmbr you told me your hols start on 11 sep and last for 3 weeks nia. so how come you 7-9 oct can go overseas? weird lei. wanna ask you de. but i feel if ask you in msn you wun ans me. so i shall wait til the next time i see you bah. i still rmbr you said this year your stamps will all be with me... but this is no longer valid. cos you are going overseas this time without me =( oh well, i cant how i guess. im going batam on coming sunday with my mum too. its just a day trip only. not sure if i should tell you mah. see how bah. take care ok? love you lots!
| a simple me. 10:04 PM
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
im so at peace and happy unlike the past few weeks. dunno why is it that your last visit left me very happy for a long time. true, each time you come my house find me i will always wear a smile but the last time i was actually mad at you and pulling a long face. and usually when you left i will be feeling super down and giving you a sad face but the last time around i didnt. i guess its all because of the fact that you insisted the reason you came find me was bacuase i wasnt able to fall aslp the previous night. and every obviously, im happy that you had taken note that i had not reached home at 4am in the morning =)
sweet. i still feel so blessed and in love with you xia. maybe its cos of the way you hugged me to sleep the other day. so tight. never letting of me. your heartbeat against mine. the warmth in your arms. i love them all. the super concern you when i cried and when im sad. the way you console me. Tat, im seriously in love with you boy. i'll never stop loving you i promise. thanks for replying to my sms last night when i asked how come you go offline so early. though all you said was sleeping and never reply when i asked if you were sick. im still happy that you didnt ignore me.
next week is my school holiday liao. wonder if i will see you more often? or will it be meeting once a fortnight again? no matter what is it, as long as you willing come find me jiu hao. love you laogong. miss you! muackies and huggies for you only *hees*
| a simple me. 2:56 PM
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Sunday, August 20, 2006
im so happy once more. omg. its like, this morning when i reach home at 1am i so sad thus the entry earlier on. when you reached home and once online, asked me if i were at fl just now. and i told you yes. you didnt reply me. so i went out for a walk as im feeling disappointed once more. i said anything sms me. i waited 5min. no response. i left my house. you smsed me at 327am. my heart stops beating for a moment. i told you i haven go home and asked you to sleep first if you want. no response. carry on sitting down in daze. 415am my hp beeps once more. its YOU! you asked why i refused to go home. i just said simply cos i cant sleep and not tired. i knew you were worried. so i went home. we smsed. then you said today will come find me if my dad working! i was SOOOO happy!
end up i didnt sleep a wink. you smsed me at 1012am. i told you he not around. you liked don't believe me. so i guess you are pulling my leg once more. still, i asked you if you coming mah. and you appeared 10minutes later! i was delighted; yet mad at you. so i lied on my bed and used bloster cover me. you came over hugged me tight. i wanna touched you. but i don't dare to. you moved away. i went over and hold you tight. sorry. i cried once more. finally i got you by my side. in your arms is where i belong. the fierceness the other day, you were trying to joke only. i misunderstood you. dui bu qi. you got hugged me to sleep too. feel so blessed. i love you truly madly deeply. i cant live without you. do you feel the same way too? i will believe in xintat for true love does not ends =)
| a simple me. 5:30 PM
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it took me a lot of courage to go down funland today. when i reached funland, i looked around. i didnt see you at all. but i saw soon weng. so i knew you will come down. i was thinking if i should stay or leave. finally, i decide to stay. when you first stepped in, xiaoyan told me she saw you. i pretended i didnt hear. i wanted so much to turn and see you face to face. but im so scared that you will give me a black face. so i didnt. i waited for you to walk past me before i finally see your back view. my heart stops beating for a moment, then it races faster. haiz. you still have that kind of effect on me. you came in, i decided to walk out. but i couldnt help myself. ten minutes later i turned back in, pretending to chat with kelvin so happily when deep inside i just wished for a slight of you. you sat at the football machine just one seat away. but all i can see is your side view >.< argh! qi si wo le! anyway, you seem to really put on a lot of weight nor. see ur back view and face like bigger liao. haiyo, you ah. wanna sms tell you to lose weight de. but its like, im a nobody to you. so who am i to say you? aiya dunno larsh. all i know is, you no longer belongs to me. you seem to be serious about putting me down and having a fresh start. so wad am can i say? its gonna be yet another long night. hais.
| a simple me. 1:30 AM
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006
i guess thats nothing that i need to say anymore is there? five days never speak to you. yet you attitude me when i pm-ed you. its just a casual question as to when is your ns medical checkup. such a simple question. yet you cant answer. or rather, DON'T WAN TO ANSWER. fine. have your way then. don't bother to ask me if my menses come yet anot. this kind of things is PRIVATE information. we are JUST frenz. normal friends. tell you about my menses for wad. so like i said last night, don't bother to think of asking me. i wun answer such PERSONAL question. jiu suan i PREGNANT also no longer has anything to do with you. want play attitude with me rite? this is what you get back. BYE.
| a simple me. 8:50 AM
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Monday, August 14, 2006
how have you been my dear friend? it seems like so long since we last chatted. the last we talked.. was when i asked if you want FIR new album. you said you have it already. then we ended the chat there. the weekends are the hardest to pass for me. cos theres basically nothing to keep myself occupied with. its always end up im there sitting and staring into space thinking about you. but it seems to me, weekends are the happiest time for you. cos weekends you will be out with brothers to play. you have got them for company. i have but only hamtaro, zhu nao and winnie to be my friends. how did things go so wrong? forbidden love hurts the most. its the hardest thing i ever have to do. to put on a brave front. to control myself from sms-ing you when i miss you like crazy. to pretend that i dont care about where you are and why you aint home yet at 1am. do you know that im struggling hard? no matter what, i wish you happiness. anything sms me pls. im here waiting as always. you will NEVER be replaced.
| a simple me. 11:30 AM
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Thursday, August 10, 2006
hais. i got bad dream for two nights in a row. cant sleep well. so wish you are by my side for a night. with you next to me, i will most likely be able to sleep better. actually wanna request that you sat come over acc me an hour de. who knows you all decide sat go sentosa. so qiao >.< looks like bo pian liaos. its sleepless nights for me for the days to come. feel like asking you come my house downstairs acc me for like 15-30 minutes? but remember that day you said waste money and time. at most i paid you the travelling fare nor. but now school reopens you using bus stamp le mah. zzz. dunno larsh. hao qi guai de gan jue... seems like fri and mon are dreams like that. having you by my side and acc me sms. but at least now better, ask you question you will ans me de. do you know each time i receive a sms from you or msg in msn my heart stops beating for a second after which it races very fast? even if its a simple thing like asking me for certain file, i also will happy de. very silly arent i? to you, it means nothing. but to me, it means so much. cos at least it shows you remember a fren like me. thats enough for me.
today go see my mum. she asked about us. told her about it. she said that she aint against us together or wadever and feel very sayang we like that break off. she willing to talk to godma or your mum for us and make things clear about her stand. but the rest is still up to you of cos. so see how nor. if one day you really wanna patch but scare of your mum, just let me know. arbo if before you go ns and you still got feelings for me, perhaps then we can talk to your mum about it. after all when you go ns we cant anyhow le mah. decision is still yours. i'll respect you for it. just letting you know only =) take cares always my zhu nao. i used to love you, i still love you now, and forever more til the day i die, you will still be the one i love. huggies and muackies for you only! ^^
| a simple me. 8:33 PM
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Monday, August 07, 2006
i guess you are right ba. frenz is a better solution for us the time being. you seems happier and more comforable to talk to me when we are frenz. yesterday night we actually sms from one plus til almost four am. tho we are crapping abt xxx stuff, we also got talk about other things. not about us of cos. but ya, guess you get the point ba. its so long since we can chat so freely and so long. but i feel a little sad too. cos i cant possibly get you to say those words to me again =\ well, i guess this is wad its meant by no sacrifice no gain ba. we do away with those words and be frenz. in return i kinda get the old happy you. its worth it =) anything as long as you are happy my eggtart. 5121314584. wo bu hui pian xin de. zhe shi wo dui ni de cheng nuo.
| a simple me. 8:47 AM
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Sunday, August 06, 2006
i thot after meeting me on fri, you will change ur mind and realise you cant do without me. but once again, you surprised me. that aint the case. today you declared that you wanna start afresh and wanna me to give others a chance and don't want me to wait for you anymore. you said you no longer love me liaos. haiz. what exactly went wrong. our love suddenly seems so fragile. the way you are talking to me just now frightens me. i sensed you still love me. but perhaps its my imagination and one-sided love ba. you said you wanna throw away all the things i given you. my heart break was already a million pieces. you broke it once more. didnt realise you can be so ruthless. i know you want me to give you up. also don't like that de mah. my heart really hurts. i miss you so much. those times we have together. i so in need of a hug now. if only you will appear in front of me now =\
| a simple me. 8:32 PM
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Friday, August 04, 2006
woah. i kkinda dunno how to write this entry xia. ytd til now like so many things happen. ytd u just saw those things i put inside ur thumbdrive. then u msn me ask me if wad i said is true, ie, let u treat me like prostitue. i said ya. n explain why i allow u to. then we finally had another talk about why break up and stuff. u said u used the five words as a last resort to get me let go. u said dora n ham nv change places but all the memories of u and me is kept inside the box in the drawer. u said u had cried when we break. u said u missed me every night and cant get to slp easily.
i asked if u still love me. u refuse to tell me. i asked if can patch. u said 100% no at first but seems to hesitate. i know u r scare if patch i will stick to u like glue again. i understand ur fears but u still dont seems to trust me. ask me why my hole so big. explained again and again. u dun seems to believe me. hais. whole world can dun believe me i dun care. but u the one i love leii. dunno la. anyway ytd we chat in msn very long wor. i so happy. tho half the time im like wanna cry. still, as long as u r talking to me again can liaos. we even sms whahaha. thx dear.
morning we got sms as i go polyclinic. then after that u came over find me. when u first came, i feel so awkward. i dunno if i should touch u. end up i just sit in front of com. luckily, u pull me over and hug me tight. i cried. i couldnt help myself. feels so good to be back in ur arms again. hug, kiss, we did them all. i thought u will stay on til evening. end up u didnt. left at abt 245pm. dun wanna let u go de. but i have no choice. if i pull u stay, ltr u kena scare of by me dun wan come find me. luckily u auto hug n kiss me b4 go and still got sms me a few sms.
frenz seems easier for u. then i shall not force u. i'll do as u wish n stay as ur fren. but in my heart, u will owaz be my dearest bf ok? since u talking to me liaos, i shall not keep bomb u with qns or wad liaos. i really super scare u go away again. i can onli take a step at a time now. hope things will turn out fine. u called me all the name u used to call me. except for the "laopo". i guess thats ok ba. love u loads. looking forward to meeting u again =) muackies. take care wherever u r!!
| a simple me. 6:48 PM
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Wednesday, August 02, 2006
i came back to lab from break earlier. i unlock my computer. then my heart stopped beating for a moment. i blinked my eye. i cant believe it. YOU pm me!! then my heart beat faster a lot. excitedly i clicked on the msg. "there?" u even nudged me! i thought you think through liaos. but it isnt the case. you just wanted some songs from me thats all. oh well. at least it shows you need songs will still find me =D i took the chance to ask you about BTT. and you replyed!! told me take date. i didnt bother ask when. i asked another question about my vcds. you said pass to dk ba. well well well... you talked like about 5-10 lines to me today? im so happy!! reach home waiting for you to ask me for the song. you didnt lei. so i auto send nor. then half way through u canceled it and told me you gtg then jiu signed out liaos. wonder where you when.. eat with parents or out with someone? shall not go think too much or later i sad again. no matter wad, thank you Zhu Nao!! you made my day!! muackies!
| a simple me. 8:28 PM
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Tuesday, August 01, 2006
im resigned to the fact that you don't like me anymore. 100% won't patch with me de i guess. cos it seems to be you are ok liao. your nick seems ok and hopeful liaos. thats good. i have no idea how you and LiHong are getting on. i assume pretty good ba. glad you no longer stressful liaos. it hurts me to know you are that way. hmmm.. wonder if you do read my email? i hope you did. those advices for you must remember when you jioing her ok? i guess you feels im very fan and sticky to you rite? i decided i shall let you go as you wish. cos i wanna see your smiles not your frowns. good luck my fren. i wun keep sms or msn you liao. i will only sms you when got important things. as for my vcds, you see how nor. when you free than return me ba. the rest you wan keep can. but finding nemo i wan the vcd for sure ok? i shall fade into a place you dunno. my number n msn n frenzter n this blog plus dreamer-xin blog wun ever change de. you are still welcome to find me anytime anywhere. take care and goodbye.
waiting and pining for a lost love..
xin
| a simple me. 9:12 AM
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