Monday, July 31, 2006
i did something toopid last nite. i actually email u ways to jio a girl. in other words, ways for u to jio Lihong, my love rival. where in the world will u find another girl as crazy as i am over u? know that u like else one still help u think of solutions and reminded u how to jio a girl. deliver u to her or her to u. pengz. bo pian la. cos i got a bad feeling u wun ever patch with me liaos. know u too well. u believe in fortune telling. if ur mum say fortune teller says im not ur future wife de hua, u sure believe it de. n because u believe it, u will choose to forget me. wei shen mo ni kan bu qu ur mum is trying means to break us up? why cant u stay to ur own beliefs?? its not that im asking u not to listen to ur mum because of me. its just that, when comes to love, there's really nothing that can stop us. nothing except u n me. just because of wad ur mum says, u broke up with me. this just proves to her that u love me very little. is that the truth? have ur love for me fade til so little liaos? im at fault each time i know. but this time i really did nothing. yet u fallen for another girl. hais. two plus years of relationship gone just like that. im so numb. so crazy over u still. so sad. so despo for ur love. u wan me be a bitch/prostitue to u i oso wun mind de lo. cos i really dun wanna lose u. wish u will come back to me one day.
here waiting for u owaz..
Julia
| a simple me. 8:49 AM
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Friday, July 28, 2006
i wish so badly that you told me yourself that day we break up that is because you had fallen for another girl. if you had told me that, i would let you go without a fight de. told you so many times liao. like else one just tell me. i will accept it de. cos i know if you like someone else will definitely be easier than loving me. cos i do is bring u bad memories i know.
but as usual, you didnt tell me. you let me find out myself. this hurts me more than you realise. two years together. ask you go out gaigai or watch movie is a torture to you. yet you yourself jio her out to movie n offer go with her to chinatown. buy n treat her food. were you ever so nice to me? nope. can see you like her alot. hais. almost email you last nite n scold you but i manage to control myself.
so much things i wish to say to u. yet its so hard to say them all out cos you wun listen. you go stanley's house T.T he put the curse on you de rmbr ma? you still bring yourself back there. just cos the girl was there. aiyo, dunno wad u thinking la. the distance between us has really grown apart a lot. i dunno how to reach out to you anymore cos u shut me out of your life.
i shall let you go as u wish. cos i wan to see your smiles not your frowns. i wun bother try to communicate with you. maybe once a week or once a blue moon. see how ba. take care Wei Tat. im right here waiting.
| a simple me. 10:26 AM
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006
it wasnt a good day. perhaps i tried too much to be strong. i contained my tears from sunday night. thats the reason why when i saw ur nick "loving someone is easy but trying to get the love is hard". it gives me the impression u liked else one. true. u dun have to report to me anything or tell me anything. but its just a casual question. why cant u ans me? end up of cos was me crying in lab for 3 hours. so drained out xia.
now, i do not know wad u told me is real or fake. the reason u stayed on with me.. is it cos i had an abortion bcos of u thats y u stayed on with me the 4mths to pity me? maybe ba. i have no idea. ur love seems so sincere n real all these while. but for the first time, u said that u no longer love me. its the first time i heard u say it. thus i got a feeling that maybe my sis is right. u had ur fun so u decide to dump me.
i cant exactly blame u. afterall is i deliver myself to ur doorstep de. but the truth hurts. it reli do hurts. i miss u so badly. i dunno how to go on. i dunno how to move on. two years plus gone in just a few sms. stay as frenz ah? u aint replying me as usual. there isnt anything i can liao i guess. do wad u wan. leave no room for regrets. congrats on ur freedom. go jio the girl u reli love ba. treat it u dunno me or wad nor. bye.
| a simple me. 8:50 AM
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
19 July is the last day i meet u. 21 July is the day u said meet lesser. 23 July is the day u requested for break up. i was very calm this time around. only let go a few drops of my tears. its so obvious u dun wanna break. u keep asking me we stay as frenz ok? as if u were hoping i wun agree to it. u know i wun agree to it unless i had no choice. ending was i said u regard me as fren i regard u as bf. u came home online. ur nick "hope u will stop cheating urself. let it be history". i saw that. i cant help but break down. thats so hurting do u know? still, i braced myself up. i pm-ed u said, "ur msn nick very nice xia LOL". u said its cos i wun face the fact. i ji tao shoot u, thats my problem rite? wad has it gotta do with u? then u just changed ur nick back to Tat nor. reason i dun wan u put that is bcos i dun reli wanna boardcast the fact that we break up liao. u said u stopped loving me two weeks ago. u said u aint exactly happy that u decide to break with me. so contradicting. yet after we break u could talk to me more normally. its owaz this way. why? why is it so hard for u to talk to me as my bf? why its easier for u to see me as fren? why couldnt u forget the corliss thing? i dunno the answers to that. n i dunno if i should still believe in all those things u used to tell me. i lost. im reli lost. when we patched back in cny, i thot it will never end again. but it did. i hate ur mum. i dun wanna hear her voice again. as for u, i hope u will just give me a tight slap to make me wake up from this terrible dream. im suffering once more. im so in need of a hug from u. i miss u laogong. i miss u loads. counting the days til we will be together once more...
| a simple me. 9:22 PM
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
not again. no no not again. i hate this. wads ur mum thinking? i reli dunno xia. again wan us to meet lesser. which is like, when we did nothing wrong. craps xia. u said to pretend we dunno anything first. but most probably after u sch reopen stick to weekend then meet. ji tao sian tiao nor. the thought itself frightens me. why? cos u r stopping to sms me liaos. go where oso nv inform. ya i said im fine with it in the previous entry. but thats only cos we r together everyday so thats no need to say more as in the sense. if we were to go back to only meeting few days a week, its a entirely different matter nor. but she's ur mum. wad can i say? i can only remain sad. take a knife n kill me thanks. *cry myself to sleep*
| a simple me. 8:58 AM
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Sunday, July 16, 2006
hmmm.. was talking to Hao abt u & him thing n of cos me & u thing. many things which i dun understand i got ask him for advice. i decided to take his advice. laogong, i will try my very best not to hold on too tightly to u i promise. if u r reading this, i wanna tell u once again, im sry for all the hurt n wrongs i did in the past. i will change n in the process of changing to be who u wan me to be. i will do my best to be a good gf to u. no matter wad happens, i will stay by ur side for sure. i will support ur decision wadever it is. i shall not be so hard on u. u wanna go out or wad dun need to inform me. unless its like, going somewhere far or we supposed to meet then u wan cancel or wad then this u must tell me k? sms n calls.. its ok if u dun reply. i shall not bomb u with sms or complaining over small things oso. i will try my very best to give u space n freedom. i need time. give me time ok? i know we can do it de. we WILL make it. we WILL stay together owaz. NOTHING can separate us again. i wun let anything make us break. not even parents or siblings. i love u from the bottom of my heart. muacks!
| a simple me. 5:01 AM
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Friday, July 14, 2006
its just so weird. why is it everytime after a happy post something is bound to happen? craps. once again we quarrelled. maybe most of the fault lies with me. but u cant deny u r partly why it happens. all i asked is u tell me when u going out. why cant u do it? even used excuse say u dun even tell ur mother why shd u tell me? then y shd u tell bros? its so obvious half the time u meet bros is cos YOU asked them out. they never say wanna go out. u ask them if they wan to.
when u first not happy, u dun wan tell me. til now, u cant take it then scold me like hell. i vomit. i out of breath. wad u do? ignore me just walked on. is this how steads are supposed to be? im not comparing i swear. its just.. now we no longer meets everyday. u oso hardly talk to me outside of ur hse. u r so becoming who u r last year. n i dun wan that happen. my love for u is deeper than u imagine. its this love of mine that casuing me to act possessively n making me easily jealous. but its something which u will never understand. or maybe u dun wan to understand.
dun force me to cut myself or wadever. u know i will do it if i reli set my mind to it. it happened twice. n it will happen again if u force me to depression. if u dun wan to folo u when u go out with bros, u can say de. at most i go home. u seem happier with bros anyway. u got them, ma chaim dun need me de. everyday meet for about 5 hours oso can quarrel. wad abt married life then? even ur "wife" u oso treat this way. i dare not imagine wad will happen when we marry. that is, if u wanna marry me.
even now, u r still ignoring me. 5.5mths. first time u angry with me over nite. n u dun care. i sms u n everything, no reply. i dunno wad to do now. worried that things will happen to u. yet u dun give a damn abt me. tell me wad exactly u wan from me n i will say thanks a million to u. i reli hate crying n sleepless nites. think abt it ba.
| a simple me. 4:39 AM
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Thursday, July 13, 2006
ytd ish a happi day fer mie wor. as usual, ii go find euu after sch. hang around at ur hse til 8 then go out meet fa fer dinner. as we watched vin n fa played billard, euu are owaz by my side de. ok ii admit ish ii stick to u first n cos theres not much place fer euu to stand at. still, im happi. hehes. hope ice will stay out of our lives. ii dun wanna quarell with euu again. im sry laogong. ii know lately my temper very bad. but ii oso dunno why leii. juz feel likes it euu know? maybe its pre-menses or wadever ba. oh ya, my menses still haven come. but this time ii aint worried cos euu n ii did nth. think its the medicine which doing the trick ba. doesnt matter. this mth dun come stil got next mth ma =D~ zhu nao yi ge! wo ai ni yi bei zi wo fa shi! ^^v
| a simple me. 9:15 AM
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Monday, July 10, 2006
hmmm these few weeks past by without any big problems ba. ii guess reason ish cos ice no longer stick tuu us thus no more quarrels. we oso kinda got our own space liaos as in the sense we dun stick together everyday lerr. if ii go home help dad to open door de hua, then ii never come out find euu liaos. euu will either go fl urself with them, arbo stayed at home. hehe. is this supposed to be a good thing? seriously speaking, ii dunno. cos when we are apart, euu will owaz not sms me de. then will feel not so good nor =( guess being together and apart has its pros and cons. so dunno leii. no matter wad, euu are the one ii love. now n forever! muackies! ni shi wo de wei yiiiiiii!! kekeke!
| a simple me. 8:38 AM
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Friday, July 07, 2006
perhaps its menses blue. or juz the gd old mie. haiz. wad happen xia? wei shen mo you zhe yang? juz dun meet a day can actually cos me to think too much and mad at euu again. euu out whole day no sms suan lerr. then euu urself sae reach home sms mie. again never. dumb nor. was thinking can forgive euu de. but then euu suddenly sms mie b4 ii wanna go out to sch. tell me siong vin n fa at ur house. wads the point of saying when they r there since last nite? damn. n euu juz reply a "haiz. k then". after that again no sms. games n slp seems to be better than a human called Julia. thx a lot. im glad euu make mie realise this again. looks like ii wun be meeting euu tonight either. so gd luck n have fun! BYE!
| a simple me. 8:46 AM
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Sunday, July 02, 2006
sho happi today!! finally this year ii got euu by my side on my bdae without a single problem. tho we didnt actually go anywhere special nor did euu give mie a gift, its good enuff fer mie that euu r here with mie. ii was pretty scared the previous nite that the history will repeat itself. cos euu didnt meet up with mie the ntie b4 n were with bros instead. was pretty worried. but luckily its juz thinking too much on my part. my wish fer this year ish that euu n ii will be able to stay together happily without any other problems. its a torture the past 2 years. let it be over n tried to bury it k? ii will be with euu owaz ii promise. never will ii leave euu de. ii hope ur confidence in mie will grow n that there wun be anymore hiccups. this will be the best gift to mie ((: sa rang he yo!!
| a simple me. 1:42 AM
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