hais. damn. ur parents want us to break up. now cant meet up often liao. not even at funland cuz possibility they go there check on u is high. then oso cant keep sms-ing or they sure know its me. same goes for msn. dumb lorsh. now we is pretending to be break up. this feeling sucks. dun understand why everytime when we are very in love with each other things happen de. is it cuz im a dumb girl who do not think before she speaks thus im ruining my own happiness? fook nor.
now im praying hard my menses will come by end of apr. arbo sure die de nor. if kena again hor, sure no chances they let me n u be together again. if never tio, still got the 0.001% there mah. crossing my fingers xia. and hor, if suay suay tio again hor, i dun think i will tell them nor. i rather lie then use my pay go abort. lets not that wun happen k. u said u sure never shoot in. so lets see how ba. dunno if i can take another abortion anot. 2 abortion in 2mths will be the biggest record in the whole world xia. argh. then thats the issue of aborting more than one times harder to convieve. argh! going crazy liao!
another thing is, im so freaking scare u cant hold on. cuz both is ur flesh. cannot ignore me but neither can u neglect ur parents. juz scare that u under too much stress will scramble and break with me. then i can go jump off building liao. or is i cant bear to see u struggle til so jialat n i choose to leave. hais. either way, it wun solve the issue i know. so i will stay on with u thru this. if we can get thru this, i seriously think nth else badder will happen liao. not any that i can think of anyway.
then another thing is, even if we can hold on til 3yrs ltr n they relectantly let us marry hor, how will they treat me? i dun wan to have parents in law who hate me leii >.<~ so freaking depressed and dejected again. starting to tempt with the thought of cutting myself again even tho i no guts de. hais. i gotta be the biggest fool around xia. damn. God bless me one last time. let us be able to get thru this tough period. then we wun dare to anyhow liao le. i will control de! i know i said this a lot of time liaos. but this time i really really learn my mistake liao! this isnt cry wolf story i swear! **waiting for a miracle...
| a simple me. 3:28 PM
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