i feel as if the world has fallen down on top of me. hais. ytd morning went to poly clinic for check up. found out i was pregnant. at first tell u, u like quite happy dun mind. after that i see u so stress. so dun wanna touch me. i realise u may leave me. ask u acc me go tell ur mum u dun wan. i did it by myself. result??? ur mum gives us a gd dressing down. u keep quiet all the way. i dun blame u. then ur mum get ur aunts n uncles down. i kena said til like cheap girl blah. u didnt even defend me. ur godmum even suspect child not urs. then ask if u cfm that child urs, u juz keep quiet. my sis ask u?? u said u not sure n bring up the past. hais. why oh why? this past 1 mth we how happy? have u all forgotten? practically i everyday with u. how could u suspect me? i dunno i reli dunno. im so scared now. all saying abortion. even u agreed to it. our child leii. how can u decide to abort it? u dun feel heartache meh? i do leii. i dun wan abort. i dun wan leave in regrets. u uds anot? another problem is after abortion chances of getting pregnant lesser leii. hais i reli dunno how la. ltr gotta go for check up liaos. my health isnt gd de. i dunno if can abort the child anot la. regardless of can or cannot, i sure feel depressed de nor. u n i break up i cry like how liaos? imagine child gone. u seriously think i can take it ar? true. we dun have the means to raise the child. but at most i myself take care la. u go sch u go play or go ns. i can take it de nor. i will do anything for the child de nor. its urs n mine leii. if abort, wun u wonder if its guy or girl? whether it look more like hu and so on? i will de leii. damn la. then after abortion, will we still be together? will u still wan me? the way u said last nite, as if u dun wan me nor. u knw how hurt i feel?? all these u dunno nor. i so need ur support rite now. yet u isnt here. hais. will ur mum opposed us? i knw ur godmum hates me. dunno la. fuck. wad am i doing on this earth? im better off dead.
| a simple me. 10:10 AM
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