Thursday, March 23, 2006
all was fine actually de. planned to go indonesia n think of thigns to do so happily over there. suddenly ur mum drop a bomb on us. said that she dun wan us to share a room. scare we anyhow. no matter wad i said oso no use. craps de nor. even godma allow u n i to go indonesia n share a room yet ur mum dun. i know she worry n everything la. but still, it really freaking dampens my mood lorsh. frm ytd to now. sian liao la. wad if she still send relatives folo us? will be so paiseh de lorsh. if tts the case ar, i rather dun go indo at all liaos.
cant she let us free? juz 3 days n 2 nite only. she really think we haven learn our lesson meh? cant she have more faith in us? hais. zzz. argh! pek chek! then u oso not happy over this thing. think wun have peace these few days. even if can go indo n share room, goodness knw wad ur mum will sae when we come back >.< she dotes on us i knw. but she reli pull the string a bit too tite liaos. now i finally uds y u dun like ur mum. just these 3 wks with her show me everything. pengz. wonder wad now. argh. saddden. stress out. *sobsob*
| a simple me. 4:33 PM
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Monday, March 20, 2006
woah. Past few days u n I reli like machaim glue together de. Everywhere u go, I oso by ur side. Dun sae in sch n when I at work la. Example is funland. U n I owaz go down together de hahas. Leave oso leave together. At nite go home u oso send me home despite the fact u muz go back alone. Everything seems so perfect now.
I can hardly believe that just last week u n I was quarrelling. But oh well, that’s the fact. Can see tbat u haven put down wad had happened last time. But I dun blame u for it. At least u nv hide and do tell me ur thots n feelings. Ur constant reminders sumtimes make me feel sad. But I understand why u reminding me so I dun mind. Reli hope things will blown over soon.
So wanna wish to be with u 24hrs. so wanna be ur official wife. Since day one we started interacting all the way til now, we been thru so much ups and downs. I did so much wrong. Yet u still accept me n let me stay by ur side. I will proof to u that im worth ur love despite all that I had done. Give our love some trust for I know we truly love each other. Never will I leave u or do anything behind ur back liaos.
I will be true to my heart, true to u I promise. Love ya for u r the one who lights up my life. Without u, im nth. Cant wait for 2009. most probably then can get marry or at least engaged. Sumtimes im so afraid. There seems to be so many ppl against our r/s. im so scare one day one of us will fall prey to them. Hais. Lets hope nth us will happen lerr. * Keeping my fingers crossed now* God kindly watch over us pls. thank you!
| a simple me. 10:42 AM
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
hey hey, im back to blog!~ still rmbr few days ago I was complaining that u dun wan pei me despite the fact I am starting work this week. How I knw end up I start work hor u let me go over ur hse pei u everyday! Get to eat dinner with u n watch tv like last time. Only difference is now cannot ton liaos lerr. But hor, sumtimes u send me home at nite! Hehe!
Ytd talk to ur mum n godmum. Was a bit afraid she find out abt my past. If they knw, chances that we can stay together still isn’t high. And I ask u promise cannot sae out u nv. U juz sae u wun say out de >.<
Can really see that u r treating me better n better liaos lerr. Sms so much with me. Can be up to 100+ a day xia. This mth bill sure explode de but I dun care! As long as I got u! then oso cuz u keep asking me abt my past. This shows that u interested to knw n try understand more abt my feelings wor. Tho somethings when I tell u those stuff I do feel guilty I will still ans u truthfully de. So sad I not allow to hug u at nite when u slp liaos lerr cuz ur mum feels no respect n oso scare we anyhow sobsob.
Nvm nvm. Next sat we going Indonesia with bros liaos! Can hug u n be with u 24hrs! hehe! So so happy! Is u want me go de somemore cuz nib u fang xin wo yi ge ren zai Singapore. U scare I do wrong I knw but another reason is oso cuz ni bu she de wo. Hehe! Nice to knw that! 1st trip out of Singapore is with u! I hope all my future trips out will be with u oso. =D~ zhu tou <33>
| a simple me. 3:48 PM
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Monday, March 13, 2006
pengz.. ytd 12 mar is supposed to be our 21mth anniversary. end up so many things happened.. u sms at 1+am 12mar ask me abt wad i had been hiding frm u. i straight tell u the truth abt corliss n jeff thing. end up u quarrel with me. we talked thru sms plus oso talk on fone. when i decided to come clean with u i know that i may lose u. but then i oreadi see u as the one im really gonna married when i grow older thats y i decided sae all out.. end up... hais.
slpt 3+hrs nia i jiu cant slp anymore. all the way im slping n waking up at every single noise. i guess its cuz i thot u will sms me n tell me u will forgive me. but u didnt. wake up 11am bath then get out go down view my workplace. no appetite. didnt eat much. even vomitted out my medicine. life sucks knowing u r gone. reach home. saw u online. nv say anything to me oso. darkness overwhelm me. juz keep staring at tv hoping time will pass faster than i can juz slp and forget everything.
suddenly i heard the everytime ringtone. i knew u had called me. i ans n all u said was u at fl if wan come dwn. i sae bye and went down. saw u then u said ltr then u call me come out. started shivering =\ 10+pm u n corliss started talking but i didnt catch much of it as that guy voice too soft. u started asking me qns abt i reply til very the wad i knw cuz i dun wish to quarrel with u but.. T.T in the end corliss, desmond and chun huat be my witness that i promise to change cuz of u n not do the same mistake again. n we patch on the spot ard 11+ ba.
i feel apprehensive. patch lerr. u still nv talk to me n sit far. still muz corliss ask us sit closer blah. but at least u got offer me ur drink hehes. then u said wanna leave at ard 12+ n i wonder i how. then i juz folo behind u. still muz hold ur hand 1st u this zhu nao! after that talk like normal nor. reach home as ur mum in ur room we use sms communicate. talk things hao hao make things clear lerr n poof! we r like usual liaos!~ sadden that cant hug u to slp.. ur mum pretty scare abt us =( nbm. i trust we can get thru this period de. hehes. but still, i still fear that one day u again go back to ur old ways.. as u had given me the benefit of doubt, i think i will do the same. love ya owaz!~ =DDDDDD~
| a simple me. 11:57 AM
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Saturday, March 11, 2006
sry laogong. today i feel so moody. i think its cuz afternoon u wake up liaos. talk to me not even 5min then started playing dota all the way. i sms u n msn u oso nv reply. then started feeling neglected and suddenly wanna cry. all u said was dun too sad lerr sayang then went off to funland. not long after u go ur mum called me. hais. she said i can still go over but cannot stay over. hear that i really very sad nor. if thats the case, i dun even think u will let me go over nor. hais. plus i monday gonna start working. yet wad r u doing? acc ur bros not me. told u how sad i am u juz said its juz 3mths very fast over. >.< reli dunno wad u thinking.
i really miss you deeply. now settle ur parents liaos. but u told me u only trust me 70% n feels u understand me 80% nia. u scared later we turn out like ur cousin. will we? i really hope not. 4 more years than can marry. meanwhile cant talk abt marriage or baby. hais. i knw u stress thats y keep on going out but still, i reli wish that u put me on top of bros nor. after all u r gonna spend ur life with me not them u uds? i made u my choice. i will stay on. i reli hope u will trust me this time. i wun do u any more wrong. neither will i lie to u again i promise. love you owaz. reli hope u wun be back to the old u.
| a simple me. 11:41 PM
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Friday, March 10, 2006
finally i get to see you today. early morning u sms wake me up. then i brush teeth lerr jiu go down to lavender meet you and chun huat. see you at first at first i a bit scare ur response leii. but i hold your hand you like okok then hehe. tho i let go you still got put hand around my shoulder. u help me take my passport all the way. on bus got lie on my legs and hug hug and muack muack me. so happy! you same as me wear ring around neck. hehe! then reach amk liaos you make me makan >.< and kope my food! whahaha! you this zhu nao!~ after that we pei ch walked part way home then u go my house. so happy get to hug n kiss u and everything! miss you dearly xia these few days. and you oso very sweet. say u feel weird not having me by ur side these few nites. looks like things will onli improve wun deprove ler. yea!~ ztlzn1314 + 512
| a simple me. 7:49 PM
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Thursday, March 09, 2006
the baby gone 2nd day lerr... my tummy is pretty fine but i juz tired out easily thats all. last nite cant slp as was chatting with u in msn before that. heard all that u said makes me sad oso. yuan lai ur parents nv object is only in front of me n sis. after i left, they told u not to contact me anymore. hais. when u told me that, i jing dao cried like hell. how could they sae such things? after that u oso told me actually ur dad wan the baby de but too bad we too young. hais. 19 liaos. still young meh? dunno larsh. now when see baby on street, will think of our baby. is it a small xin? or small tat? hais. no idea. u r losing ur appetite day by day. knowing this hurts me. make me so worried abt u. goodness knw when i can hug u again =( so miss u my laogong!~ hope we can get over this tough period soon. 5121314
| a simple me. 12:40 AM
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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
i feel as if the world has fallen down on top of me. hais. ytd morning went to poly clinic for check up. found out i was pregnant. at first tell u, u like quite happy dun mind. after that i see u so stress. so dun wanna touch me. i realise u may leave me. ask u acc me go tell ur mum u dun wan. i did it by myself. result??? ur mum gives us a gd dressing down. u keep quiet all the way. i dun blame u. then ur mum get ur aunts n uncles down. i kena said til like cheap girl blah. u didnt even defend me. ur godmum even suspect child not urs. then ask if u cfm that child urs, u juz keep quiet. my sis ask u?? u said u not sure n bring up the past. hais. why oh why? this past 1 mth we how happy? have u all forgotten? practically i everyday with u. how could u suspect me? i dunno i reli dunno. im so scared now. all saying abortion. even u agreed to it. our child leii. how can u decide to abort it? u dun feel heartache meh? i do leii. i dun wan abort. i dun wan leave in regrets. u uds anot? another problem is after abortion chances of getting pregnant lesser leii. hais i reli dunno how la. ltr gotta go for check up liaos. my health isnt gd de. i dunno if can abort the child anot la. regardless of can or cannot, i sure feel depressed de nor. u n i break up i cry like how liaos? imagine child gone. u seriously think i can take it ar? true. we dun have the means to raise the child. but at most i myself take care la. u go sch u go play or go ns. i can take it de nor. i will do anything for the child de nor. its urs n mine leii. if abort, wun u wonder if its guy or girl? whether it look more like hu and so on? i will de leii. damn la. then after abortion, will we still be together? will u still wan me? the way u said last nite, as if u dun wan me nor. u knw how hurt i feel?? all these u dunno nor. i so need ur support rite now. yet u isnt here. hais. will ur mum opposed us? i knw ur godmum hates me. dunno la. fuck. wad am i doing on this earth? im better off dead.
| a simple me. 10:10 AM
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Thursday, March 02, 2006
i am so contented with my life with u now! almost everyday i over at ur house. eat dinner together. watch tv together. wake up n sleep first n last prsn see is u. play game oso got u by my side. u so caring so everything! nite hungry still got supper eat de. n u will owaz ask me for permission to eat or do this do that. oso got reply my smses. got listen to me. a lot a lot of things. bros oso knw abt me n u liaos. hahas. this is wad i wan. this is the simple happiness i have always longed for. as long as u r by my side, i fear nth. all i nid is you =) zhu tou <33 zhu nao yi san yi shi!~
| a simple me. 1:28 AM
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