i dunno how to let go. i reli have no idea. its just the edn when today u msg me n said u cant forget the past. again. u said that. my mind just went blank. i know i did wrong as to the corliss thing. i reli regret it oso. but u never seem to realise it. u think i did it on purpose didnt u? put urself in my shoes. if ur 1st love got drunk, 1st prsn find is u. will u go meet her to take care of her? i did. cuz i am not heartless. n i still see him as a good fren. its my fault. i ruined my happiness with my own hands. i paid the price. the past 8mths, ever since oct, i had never been reli happy cuz of the way u treat me. i let u played me for 8mths. i let u treat me like a fool. i let myself be hurt by u time again again. is it enuff? i reli dunno. i cant bear to leave u. but i hate seeing u upset over the past. its hard to make the things i did undone. its hard for u to forgive me. its hard for me to let u go oso. but if it can make u happy, if u can go back to the old Chin Wei Tat, thats it worth the pain i feel ba. do u know how heartache i am when i decided to leave u? when i sae that "we are over. bye"? when i wrote all that email? do u know how much i cried? it doesnt matter to u anyway.
went funland today. saw u so happy. i finally understand that u reli dun need me. all along i am just an extra. hais. sad. lucky i asked zhi rong along. he is there to accompany me. wonder if u r jealous when u saw me sitting next to him? i guess not. so wanna cry. so wanna hate u. but i cant. i can only hate myself for being the way i am. that email.... i guess it will be the last i hear from u. u said it. thats the last chance for me. well. u broke with me. i guess thats no more xintat ever again. but this blog will be around. as long as i still love u, it will be. the promises i made still stand. i love u Chin Wei Tat, now til i die. hope u can find ur better half in ITE. all the best.
*sobbing in the cold n lonely nite, thinking back to my happy past which will never come back*
| a simple me. 10:01 PM
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