where shd i start? or maybe i dun even have to start. the understatement ish there; we broke up again. who initiate it? u of cuz. reason ish cant forget wad happen that night when corliss ish drunk. i did nth with corliss lor. i reli didnt do anything lor. anyone n everyone can think i am cheap slut. but u ish moi love.. how can u think that way of me? rather pei bros then me. with me sians. these are all excuses. i think fact ish u dun love me le. juz using me like a toy.. find me when u nid me.. when dont nid me, disappear until dunno where. i really wanna hate u for all the pain u caused me since oct. but i cant bring myself to hate u. i cant. i juz cant do it. i i am at the point of no return. juz sinking in deeper cuz i put my all in this r/s. yet i get nth back. but i am not like u. i dun regret being with u. cuz i love u loads. more than u know. i will be waiting.. juz like i promise.
*tears roll down my cheek as i write each email.. but do u even care? **do u still love me? or r u really as heartless as they say?
back to crying.. back to broken thoughts n shattered dreams.. back to the world of lonliness. but still i find myself loving u.. day n nite u r on my mind.. i dun care what u say. i dun care what ppl think of me. this ish how i will be. not as if u care. juz take a knife n stab me. i dun wanna carry on.
| a simple me. 6:26 AM
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Monday, April 25, 2005
why does it seems as though i am walking in a circle all over again? off and on, he blow hot and cold. pei me a week. then disappear a week and so on. or will he change pattern and ignore me for two weeks now? i oso have no idea. juz knw i am tired. all i want ish his love and concern. i nver request that we muz meet everyday. all i need ish a msg or 2 frm him a day. is it sho hard to achieve? i really dun get what he ish thinking. and why am i holding on? anything for him ish worth it. but will the ending be one that i want? or will it all go to the drain? why ish it sho hard for him to qian jiu me? haven i done enuff for him? i reli am lost in this game of love. i am at the point of no return for i have fallen in too deep. i beg u weitat. stop sending me mixed signals. i reli going to breakdown liao. i beg u... *crying*
| a simple me. 1:17 AM
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Thursday, April 21, 2005
last time i say my dar dar go mia on me again rite? no no more.. finally i realise he never meant to go mia de.. he juz wanna save bill... n i trust him for he show me that he do still have me in his heart though we bo meet.. then last sat he suddenly let me go his hse ton wor.. sho surprised n happy.. til then to now we almost everyday oso got meet.. then each tiem ish he ask me ton de wor.. kekex.. sho happy! but hor, that pig change hp yet again. wanna box him liao if he dun change for me soon. hahaha.... now i dunno he fly to where lei.. but nbm i knw he muz be happy de cuz he now got scv in his room acc him liao. a good news 4 myself ish i finally can fall aslp easily at his hse le.. oh ya... he got stole two kisses frm me ds morning oso. LOL! the feeling of being in love is great!
| a simple me. 8:55 PM
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Saturday, April 16, 2005
i super dunno wad to think now lor. its a week since he last acc me. nbm. i dun reli care. but its like, today saw him. he like treat me invisible lor. bros ask him acc me. he owaz find an excuse that i dun need his company. wtf. then nbm i tahan. so i follow him walk home. he so the fierce. like not happy lor. then ask him why walk so fast. he say he rushing home. then leave me walking alone behind him. but as least when i reach home online he got ask me why bo eat la. dunno shd be happy anot. haiz. dunno la. kns de.
| a simple me. 12:52 AM
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Sunday, April 10, 2005
why you like that..... what happen... on friday we whoel day together then go eat supper le u ask me reach home msg u so i did. then u never reply. nvm. next day msg u u tell me go out with mum so let it be. reach amk le then u no reply my msgs liao. call bo ans. then today oso. i reli dunno wad happen lor... wad i done.. u mad dun wan sae.. owaz like that... but this time u promsie that u wun ever leave me le... are you gonna break it? if u do.... i will hate you for life..... i will reli go force myself hate u de... pls dun leave me hanging.... i will leave you alone for now... hope things will turn better soon..
| a simple me. 11:53 PM
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Thursday, April 07, 2005
i juz came back from brunch with dear dear. as usual, i am with dear almost every single day. it seems at times he is tired of being with me everyday cuz he said me got home dun wan go back. keep going his hse. like not i pei him lor. so i told him let me go back but its like ai mai de u knw? dunnow ad he is thinking. he oso seems to cant slp nowadays whenever we together. think i reli dun wan ton there so much le. hurts me to see him this way. seriously i dunno if its a good thing that his mum knw abt us. cuz now i wanna spend every moment with him n its like so wrong u knw? i'm neglecting my studies for u dar. do u knw that? well i guess its juz a price i have to pay for being with u. i decided to choose u over studies. =))
| a simple me. 12:08 PM
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005
i dunno wad got over me la... guess its cuz i never slp for 2 days straight so when i slp at 3am last nite i didnt wake up til today 645pm. meaning i slpt like for 15+hrs straight. i wake up didnt see any msg frm u. do u knw how sad i am? juz now sms u oso no reply. then gon msn talk to u oso nmo reply. dunno wad u up to. is it czu u tired of being with me? cuz after all u pei me all the way almost everyday since we patch back in feb. wadever it is, i hope nth will go wrong between us. i hope its juz my imagination due to my dumb auntie. *weak smile*
| a simple me. 7:11 PM
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Saturday, April 02, 2005
my auntie come liao.. nowadays feeling very moody. keep having the feeling u dun wan me by my side due to ur little actions. felt so unwanted whenever u dun wanna meet or reply my msgs. when u dun let me hold ur hands n everything i oso will anyhow think. i told u its better if u pei me during ds period to keep myself not anyhow wonder. n u did pei me everyday. of cuz i am very happy. but the thing is, its seem liek i keep making u angry lor. yet u accomodate me though i purposely make u angry de. u r reli becoming so good to me that i cant believe this is real. i love u tat. reli hope nth can ever break us up again. ds time around u promise me never to say that word again. will u keep to it? i sure hope so. i love u loads.
| a simple me. 3:43 PM
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